cupkates make me weak… and fat

i read about this cupcake truck in the “best of the east bay” edition of east bay express and HAD to try it. i’ve been craving sweets like a madman lately — ESPECIALLY cupcakes because i love the texture of a soft, moist, bite-sized cake balanced with a dallop of cream on top. gnom gnom gnom.

the bad news is i have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and for whatever reason, i’m always visiting the doctor when i’ve gained 5-10 pounds above my “normal” weight. the last time i went, he told me that i’m ok as long as my weight doesn’t go above 150.  then he looked me up and down as if to say, “good luck!”

gone are the days when i could eat like mad and not gain (that much) weight. now i have to work pretty hard to maintain my girlish figure — i mean, that’s assuming you consider this a girlish figure:

my girlish figure
my girlish figure

it doesn’t help that i’ve stopped being active.  since moving to the city, i’ve been too shy to go out jogging even though SF has ideal jogging conditions (e.g. not too warm, not too sunny, different altitudes, lots of hotties to jog behind, etc.).  where is my motivation?!

you look 23

when kids who are younger than me tell me that i don’t look any older than 23, am i supposed to view that as a compliment? really, no matter what they say, it still doesn’t erase the fact that i won’t ever be 23 again and that i haven’t been 23 for the last 7 years.  my hair is not as full, my skin not as smooth, my neck not as taut.  but you gotta wonder – are we 30-year olds just really hard on ourselves?  is everyone else as cognizant of our appearance as we are?

they say that asians don’t really age until they hit 60 and somehow, overnight, they suddenly become old and haggard looking.  i don’t know if it’s a curse or a blessing to continuously look relatively young for so long.  it’s like when others discover your real age, they say, “OH MY GOD! YOU’RE SO OLD BUT YOU DON’T LOOK IT!!!”  that’s like telling lady gaga, “OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK SO GOOD WITH MAKE-UP ON, BUT ONCE IT’S OFF YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN!  BUT RIGHT NOW YOU LOOK KIND OF GOOD!”

man oh man.  i took another tylenol cold pill and am in and out of sleep as i type this.  why do i always wait until the end of the day to update?  happy birthday to my friend jc (not jesus christ).

always hi.

welcome back, me, not you, to the blogosphere.  it is close to midnight and all my creative juices will soon be wasted in sleep… [my dreams are not very interesting.  i’d remember them more if they were, right?]… so i wanted to crank out an answer to the question that you’re probably going to ask me:
why am i coming back?
1) cause i’m an attention whore: it’s true.
2) cause i need to breathe: not writing suffocates my soul.
3) cause i have something to say: this blog is about the awkward decade called the thirties – the crossroads into adulthood where “when i grow up” is no longer a hypothetical.  it’s a period when all my hard work and studying is coming into fruition professionally and personally (supposedly) and when, with 29 years under my belt, i’m now more self-aware and self-assured (supposedly).  i’m old enough to share some of my sacred wisdom and young enough to share my new knowledge.
“recounted” chronicles my everyday.  “plagiarized” includes links to articles, images, videos, sites, etc. that you must see.  “expressed” includes updates on upcoming performances and the occasional story, poem, song and other bits of creative writing that i’m ready to share.  “cooked” features recipes that didn’t kill me and ones i’m hoping to test out.  and “captured” are photos or sketches that speak for themselves.  i will probably add new categories as this blog develops.
but now i’m going to bed because i’ve been sick for the last four days with a cold and i just popped some echinacea and a tylenol cold night pill (along with minocycline for my zits and gingko for my memory) and i’m suddenly so very sleepy…